Garren: I'm not much a burper, I'm more of a farter. 

Garren: I'm hotter than 8000 polar bears in an African desert. (After lacrosse practice.)

Garren: My back itches, who wants to scratch it?

Ryker: She [mom] is a good builder and you [dad] are a good worker. 

Ryker: Garren can you see my lungs? (Opens his mouth wide)

Ryker: Ponycorns are not real, right mom?

Me: I don't know what that is. What do they look like?

Ryker: They have horns right here. (Touches his forehead)

Me: Ya, they're not real. (I liked his made up name of unicorns too much to correct him) 😊

Garren: Ahh!!! Rosco licked me in the leg pits!! (He points to behind his knees)

Ryker: At nighttime I think my room is like a jail. You wanna know why?

Me: Yes. 

Ryker: Because I'm shut in and can't leave and I can't watch any tv, or play any games, or anything.