Garren: Instant paper cut finders. That’s what hand sanitizer is.  

Garren: This is butt clenching. You know like, when you know something bad’s gonna happen so you clinch your cheeks really tight so nothing comes out. (Referring to the presidential election that was three days ago between Trump and Biden.)

Garren: Presidents should be required to wear jumpsuits like nascar drivers and have all their sponsors displayed on them.