Garren sings the jingle: "Nationwide is on your side."

Then asks, "What does that even mean?"

Me: "They're an insurance company that want your money."

Garren: "OH... then they're not [on your side]."

Garren: "Daddy, I'll tell you how long rabbits can remember things... Until they die."

Garren: "Mommy, should we hang out and relax together?"

Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? This kid doesn't know the meaning of 'relax.'

Garren: "I'm a five-year-old. I'm pretty much all grown up."

Garren: Is Dora (from 'Dora the Explorer') older than me?

Me: Yes, she goes to school.

Garren: Maybe that's why she wanders off on her own all the time.

Garren (4 years old): I know a lot about girl stuff.

 Garren: I want to eat like a hippo. I want to be fat.