Garth: Are you going to go to college [someday]?

Ryker: No. 

Garth: So you're going to have a low paying job?

Ryker: No. I'm just going to live here. 

Garren: My lying days are all over. 

Ryker (watching tv): Is that a kid or a grownup? 

Garren: She's a teenager, so she's both. 

Ryker: Can we get medical alert, mom?

Garren: No we don't need it. It's only for old people that don't always carry their phones. 

Ryker: Sometimes I don't carry... oh ya, I don't have a phone. 

Me: Come on Ryker it's time to go pick up Garren. 

Ryker: I want to stay here with Rosco. 

Me: I'm sorry, that's not an option. 

Ryker: Oh, geez. 

Ryker: "I want a pancake."

Me: "Do you see a short order cook in this kitchen? No."

Ryker: "I want a short cook."

Garren: "How did I really get out of you as a baby?"

Me: "Magic."

Garth: "Little fairies helped."

Garren: "No really."

Me: "I pushed you out."

Garren: "How?"

Garth: "From her girl parts."

Garren: (a whole bunch of) " Really? Are you being serious?"

Me: (a lot of) "Yes."

Garren: "Oh that's so gross. I think I need to take a shower." (He proceeds to walk away and turn on the shower.)