Garren: "Is there any bear scratching post around here? Oh, I just found one."
(He then proceeds to scratch his back by rubbing it against the wall.)

Ryker: "Garren, how are we going to jump over the car?"

Garren: "Oh that's easy. We just need a trampoline."

Garren: "Hey mom, here's a question for you. Were there bathrooms on the airplane you ride-ed on?"

Ryker: "I want a dog who can really talk."

Garren: "It's as stuck as a polar bear in an ice cube."

(His blankie was packed tight into his backpack.)

Ryker: "Can you please tell me what's in here?"
(referring to his Christmas present)

Me: "No."

Ryker: "Awe. I promise I'll still like it."

(Proceeds to start crying.)

Ryker: "Don't call me hungry just call me Ryker, okay mommy? Because my tomach is rumbling."

Ryker: "Mommy can you feed me? My hands are tired."

Garren: "Um... I don't think you want to use that toothbrush. I've been using it every night since I haven't found my green one."
(To me as I'm scrubbing away.)

Garren: "I think I would like a woman."
(talking to Ryker)

Garren: "You know, your hair is paradise. I'm in hair paradise."

Garren: "You're lucky my mom doesn't let me have taffy. I'm allergic."
(Said to Ryker eating a laffy taffy.)

Garren: "Can I have something to eat after hibernating?"
(He just woke up from a nap.)

Garren: "I have my drivers license."

Garren: "I'm stuffed like fat turkey."

Garren: "Is today tomorrow?"

Ryker: "Star-flakes!"
(He meant snowflakes.)

Garren: "I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." (grouchy)

Garth: "Oh my Internet [signal] is strong now. Just like the force."

Ryker: "I don't want to get bigger."

Garren: "I feel like a dead fish."
(hot from driving around in the car going errands)

Ryker: "We going on a boat house?"

Garren: "Soap & water is like a weapon to my blood." AND "I'm freaking out!"

(He was freaking out about having to getting his cut cleaned.)

Garren: "Never run from anybody in the government, police, or the army."

Garren: "Will you please boss me around?"

Garren: "Let's make a deal. I'll wash your car 8 days a week. Now what will you do?"

Me: "I'll feed you pop tarts every morning for a week."

Garren: "Okay. Deal!"

Garren: "I'm a real super hero!"
(as he was shooting down the big water slide)

Garren: "I know you're not a trained professional."

(To me as I'm putting a band-aid on his knee. Garth gets all the glory.)

Garren: "Cookie Monster could not resist."

Ryker: "When our dad dies can we get a new one?"

(He just found out fire could kill people.)

Garren: "I wish there could be a pickle family next-door and I would eat them all."

Garren: "Wow, thanks mom! I can tell you love us a lot more than we do."

(I made him a S'more for dessert and gave it to him while he was watching a cartoon.)

Ryker: "Mom, I old like a grown-up."

Me: "Why's that?"

Ryker: "Because I hurt!"

Ryker: "MOM! I'm hungry!"
Me: "Hi Hungry."
Ryker: "I'm not hungry!"
Issue resolved, check ;-)

Garren: "Rule number 18. No pulling hair."

Garren: "Garren hero saves the day."

(He picked Ryker's spoon up off the floor.)

Garren: " Ryker, do you want me to teach you how to beat box? It goes like this. (proceeds to make BB noises)

Garren: "Princess, we're secret agents are you in danger?"

While riding his bike with friends.

Garren: "BMX [riding] is all about getting hurt."

He went to the track today for the fist time and LOVED it. He told me this with a smile on his sweaty, dirty face.

Ryker: "This is a nice world."

Ryker: "Cowboys have guns, not swords."

Garren: "I'm not gross enough to eat your germs. Of course I do kiss a frog."

(he was debating whether or not to eat the rest of my s'mores)

Garren: "Mom?" (Proceeds to kiss his biceps) "This is what strong guys do right?"

Garren: "Girls don't burp Ryker, boys do."

Garren: "Ryker, don't scare dad. He's old, he could have a heart attack and die."

Garren: (to me) "You're lookin' hot today."

Garren: "Is today picture day?"

Me: "No."

Garren: "Oh good I don't have to dress fancy."

Garren: "Ryker, let's be gentlemen. You can be Bob and I'll be French."

Garren: "It will make you have a brain twirler."
(a spinner thing at the park)

Ryker: "Chihuahua's are dogs?!"

(He was very surprised.)

Garren: "Dad, you need to stop worrying about me. I'm going to turn out really good."

Ryker: "Mom! Rosco (our dog) likes boogers too!"

Me: "Really."

Ryker: "And I like boogers and Garren likes boogers."

Garren: "When I'm a grown-up I can do whatever I want. Not a teenager."

Ryker: "I don't want to be a big boy."

Garren: "I'm the chef. You're just the person that makes the food."

Garren: "Will you run away with me Mrs. Natalie? You can come too Ms. Kim."

(talking to his preschool teachers)

Garren: "This is beef jerky heaven."

(He was eating shredded beef jerky.)

Garren: "Mom, what's your super power?"

Garren: "I wish we [Ryker & Garren] could be twins."

Ryker: "Garren, you keep growing all the times!"

Ryker: "My grumpy juice is chocolate milk."

(Garth calls coffe his grumpy juice.)

Ryker: "Mommy, you like being hairy?"

I was giving him a haircut and he was asking if I liked having long hair in his own way. ;)

Ryker: "Hey! I feel chocolate!!"

He complained earlier that he couldn't feel (he meant taste) the chocolate in his milk. Apparently I hadn't shook it up enough.

Our boys have been at the grandparents' for a little over a week and they just came home yesterday.

Garren: "There's no happier place than home."

Ryker: "How dare you eat your beans!"

That's what I often tell the boys jokingly. I tell them beans help them grow big and strong and I want them to stay little forever.

Me: "My friend Amber's here."

Ryker: "She's coming to play with you?"

Me: "Yes."

Ryker: "These are not delicious."

(He was eating chocolate covered pomegranate seeds.)

Garren: "I dont need help on nuffing... I'm rocking it!"

(Extracting Ryker's birthday toys from their packaging.)

Garren: "This feels very precious."

(He was holding an egg and helping me make pancakes.)

Garth told Ryker how much he enjoyed Ryker being little. Then he went on to tell him that one day Ryker would likely be bigger than him.

Ryker replied, "I'll stop eating."

Ryker was yelling for Garren out the back door.

Me: "Ryker, what do you need Garren for?"

Ryker: "Nothing. I just want to call him like a dog."

Garren: "Mom, I prayed God would make me an eagle."

Me: "Awe, I would miss you if were an eagle, off flying around."

Garren: "I won't be gone. I'll be flying around in the house."

Garren: "Mom, want me to tell you how gross I am?"

Tucking Ryker into bed I asked if I could give him a kiss.

Ryker: "No."

Me: (pout face) "Oh."

Ryker: "Okay. Just one kiss."

Me: "Are you guys playing leapfrog?"

Garren: "No. We're playing kangaroos. We even kick ourselves in the boy parts."

Hmmmm...

Garren: "I'm kinda the boss of rules in our house."

We're house sitting for a neighbor and her cats while she's out if town. Garren was at preschool so Ryker and I went over to check on them for the day.

Ryker: "Lets go."

Me: "You're ready to go home?"

Ryker: "No, I want to do errands."

Me: "Why?"

Ryker: "Because I want to buy a toy."

(I helped the boys build a fort/house in the front room using the cushions from the couches.)

Ryker: "Wow, look at our house. Our house is beautiful. Like a army house."

Ryker: (yelling loudly in the house as he wanders around) "Shoes! Shoes! Where are you shoes!"

(long pause)

"Hmmm. Maybe they not hear me."

I was unloading the dishwasher and Ryker came over to help.

As he was reaching to grab some dishes and I was deflecting him with my body since my hands were full, I asked, "Did you wash your hands?"

Ryker: "Yes."

Me: "When did you wash your hands."

Ryker: "On Thursday."

Me: "Then they definitely aren't clean."
(It's Saturday morning.)

Eating dinner.

Garren: "I'm going to eat more because I want to be six."

He's taken my words to heart and believes if he eats good, then he will grow faster. Why he's in such a rush to grow up is beyond me. I wish he would stay the way he is, wonderful.

I picked Garren up from preschool and he started going through his valentine bag as soon as he was buckled.

He held one up for me to read.

Me: "From Paige. To Garren."

Garren: "Ya, there's a girl on the back."
(long pause)
Garren: "It's kinda freakin' me out."

We are so NOT a girly house around here. ;)

Eavesdropping on a conversation in the back seat. (relayed from grandma Debbie)

Ryker: "Garwen, do you like gurlz?"

"Do you like gurlz a lot or a little?"

Garren: "I like girls a little."

Ryker: "Do you like gurlz enough to kiss dem?"

Garren: "No."

Ryker: "I like gurlz a little."

Garren: "Can you please leave now, mom."
(I was dropping he & Ryker off at grandma & grandpa's for the weekend.)

Garren: "I like to eat rainbow trout."

Me: "No you don't."

Garren; "Yes I do. I changed myself."

Ryker crawled into our extra large cat carrier out in the garage and Garren used the spring latch to keep him shut in. I carried it inside and as I was doing so Garren hollered, "No! Don't let him out! Feed him whatever he wants!!"

Me: "Do you want another apple?"

Garren: "No, my jaw is tired of chewing everything."

Ryker: "Mommy turn the lights on outside. I can't see!"
(riding in the car after dark)

Ryker has been up coughing tonight.

I went in to refill the humidifier and give him a new dose of cough medicine.

Me: "Do you want something to drink?"

Ryker: "Ya, a super lot of cough medicine." (while raising his arm high in the air)

Ryker: "There's a cough in my mouth."

Garren: "I'm so Hiccup, because I drink gross things."

(Hiccup is the character from How to Train Your Dragon.)

Ryker: "Mommy can I tell you something?" (from his room after he's been tucked into bed.)

Me: "Ya?"

Ryker: "Mommy, I love you."

Ryker: "Sugar makes me good."

(His argument of why he should get more dessert.)

Garren: "I want to ride my bike and shoot my bb gun at the same time."

Ryker: "Daddy, open your mouth big I want to see your treasure."

(daddy has gold fillings)

Garren: "I don't have a drivers license, but I can drive bumper cars."

Garren: "Arnold [the goldfish] is a girl."

Ryker: "No he's not! He's got no girl hairs on his head."

Garren sings the jingle: "Nationwide is on your side."

Then asks, "What does that even mean?"

Me: "They're an insurance company that want your money."

Garren: "OH... then they're not [on your side]."

Garren: "Daddy, I'll tell you how long rabbits can remember things... Until they die."

Garren: "Mommy, should we hang out and relax together?"

Isn't that a bit of an oxymoron? This kid doesn't know the meaning of 'relax.'

Garren: "I'm a five-year-old. I'm pretty much all grown up."