Garren: Mom, do you know what my favorite two words are? 

Me: No. 

Garren: Let's eat. 

Garren: Could you be a little less louder?

Ryker: My game's full of loudness. 

(Playing iPods with headphones during the car ride home.)

Garren: I'm as happy as a mouse in a cheese factory. 

Garth: It's a good sign when your marriage outlasts the appliances you were gifted at your wedding. (Responding to the fact that our garbage can and waffle maker called it quits within a day of each other.)

Ryker: One of these Cheerios just did parkour! (As he's pouring the cereal out of the box and into his bowl)

Ryker: I was like a bear protecting my baby from wolves. (On playing goalie in soccer.)

Ryker: I'm seven, I can retire. 

Garren: I bet I can sing jingle bells with armpit farts.

Garren: I didn't even need to use the smart part of my brain. 

(Doing math work)

Garren: In my opinion companions are pets. 

Mimi: We want to come to your wedding and Ryker's wedding too. 

Garren: Yah, it's only one year after mine.

Mimi: (chuckle) Weddings don't always work the same as birthdays. 

 

Garren: I love Springfield. The mornings are just so beautiful. 

(The sky is a continuous low gray cloud.)

Ryker: I've been through 100° without even being sweaty. That's really good for a little guy. 

Ryker: It doesn't look delicious. 

(When talking about the chili for dinner.)

(Trying to motivate Ryker to keep hiking uphill)

Me: You guys are super kids! You haven't seen any other kids up here hiking, have you?

Ryker: Well why are WE up here?!?

Ryker lost a tooth. 

Garren leans in and whispers to me, "Looks like you're losing a dollar."

Ryker: On Father's Day nobody can mess with a father. 

Me: Garren and Ryker, come on let's go! (Trying to leave for school)

Garren: You have to find us!

Me: No! I'm not playing that game. 

Garren: Then we're not going!

Me: EXCUSE ME!

Garren: I said, 'Ryker wants to go the most!'

Garren: You know what they say about grapes...nature's jelly beans. 

Me: Ryker come do you reading. 

Ryker: Ahhh. I want to be a grownup. Then I wouldn't have to do hard work. 

Ryker: I got beat up too much times. It's your turn to get beat up. (As he and Garren are wrestling together.)

Garren: Fishing is my most favorite thing EVER! 

Garren: Mom, Ryker wants to know why we're alive right now. Can I tell him?

Me: Sure. 

Garren: We're alive so we can worship God. 

Garren: What?! My hair is a living bird's nest. 

Ryker: Was George Washington the president when you were born?

Ryker: Mom, Rosco won't chase or tackle us anymore! (Something I don't like him doing.) I told him sheep are white and humans aren't. 

Garren: Ooh, can we go to Klamath Falls?

Garth: What do you want to go there for?

Garren: Leeches!

Ryker: We should get Rosco some sheep to herd. 

Mom: Where would we put them?

Ryker: Next to the chickens. 

Garren: Call me "Sky Guy" (he was up in a tree)

Garren: Baby teeth are for chompin' and the grown up teeth are for rippin'.

Garren: (talking to Ryker) Let's save our money, until we get like a hundred bucks, and then live off of that for a couple years. 

Ryker: Some kids are lucky they can talk when they're only three. I didn't start taking until I was three. 

Garren: Tan [our chicken] is mothering!

Me: What is she mothering?

Garren: An egg. 

Garren: Ryker will you teach me how to fake cry? You kinda do it all the time.