Garren: Instant paper cut finders. That’s what hand sanitizer is.  

Garren: This is butt clenching. You know like, when you know something bad’s gonna happen so you clinch your cheeks really tight so nothing comes out. (Referring to the presidential election that was three days ago between Trump and Biden.)

Garren: Presidents should be required to wear jumpsuits like nascar drivers and have all their sponsors displayed on them. 

 Ryker: I’m 50% not accurate. (Visiting with the other team during his tennis match.)

 Ryker: Finally! This torture is almost OVER!! (Exclaimed during his first ever tennis match.)

 Ryker: I fell on a ton of porcupines and needles. (He fell off his bike and he meant pine cones.)

Garren: Don’t make me regret getting up off my bean bag. (We took him motorcycle camping.) 

Ryker: How did our whole family get house arrest? (During the Coronavirus quarantine)

Garren: I didn’t choose this thug life, this thug life chose me.

Garren: If dogs have such a great sense of smell, why do they like nasty smelling things?

Garren: Ryker, you make cooking mac and cheese look like an art.
(Ryker had cooked noodles and hot dogs in one pan and was melting cheese then mixing it with the cheese sauce and milk in a smaller pan. He cried when he found out “washing his dishes” meant more than putting them in the sink.)

Garth: Man colds are real. My butt’s kicked.

Garren: My age is finally off the clock. (He’s 13.)