Ryker: Mom, after college I’m going to come back and give you love.

Ryker: Where are we going? What store are we going to?

Garth: None of your business.

Ryker: Everything's my business except stuff between grown ups.

Ryker: Can I put my feet up here? Points to the dashboard.

Me: No.

Ryker: Awe. Hans Solo does it.

Ryker: I'm growing up more. I want to be like you and carry my phone everywhere. (He has a non-connected phone that works like an iPod touch. Really he just wants access to games at all times.)

Garren: Thanks for the help. 

Ryker: How did I help?

Garren: You're like a stress ball when I squeeze you. 

Ryker: And I don't like that. 

Garren: I think I look pretty fresh. (After he got his back-to-school haircut at Bishops Barber Shop.)

Garren: My eyebrows can move. And I'm in charge of them!

Garren: I feel like a baked potato. (Driving around in a hot car during the summer.)

Ryker (whips his Legoland license out of his wallet): I got my drivers license. I only crashed once and after that I was good. 

Me: Did insurance cover that?

Ryker: Ya. 

Garren: Benny if you want to be a gentledog then you shouldn't be stepping on ladies faces. (Walking across Cinder in the car.)

Garren: Gosh I'm as sweaty as an armadillo. You could have a slip and slide on my back!

Ryker: You're the best mom! (For allowing him to go to a friend's house)

Me: Thanks (chuckles)

Ryker: Well...you're like the best mom I know. (Long pause) And I don't know a lot of moms, so really you're the best mom in the world!!

Ryker: It's like tiny little hair cactuses. (Referring to his newly shaven hair in the back of his head)

Garth: Good morning boys. Just know that you're my greatest source of pride and my greatest source of pain.

Ryker: You have cactus kisses. (To Garth)

Garren: I love the scent of me on this blanket. (Referring to the blanket he sleeps with each night.)

Garren: If they're going to keep us cooped up like chickens why don't they just call it a snow day. (In response to all day inside recess)

Garren: Is that an old people's home?

Garth: Yep. 

Ryker: Mariotta lives in there. 

Garren: If I had a tail it'd be wagging like crazy right now. (eating Chinese food)

Ryker: Garren I think I need to pay off my home loan

Garren: Here, can I supply you with the money. 

(Playing Animal Crossing on the Nintendo 3DS)

-Watching commercials on TV

Ryker: Mom, when I have a heart attack it's like this, OOMPH! (while he proceeds to get to his feet and hunch over, grabbing his heart)

Garren: Dude, that's not a heart attack. That's heart burn.